Paraprosdokian, two phrases, the second changing the meaning of the first, usually in a funny or humorous way. The Paradoke Corner top ten in the “Sick” category:
10) The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
9) “The heart patient refused the transplant; he’d already had a change of heart.” - George Carlin
8) Some people are like Slinkies, not particularly good for anything, but you can't help but smile when one tumbles down stairs.
7) “One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.” – Oscar Wilde
6) I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. (See photo illustration.)
5) "It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs." -- Jack Handey
4) “The car stopped on a dime, which unfortunately was in a pedestrian’s pocket.”
3) “I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.’ - Bob Monkhouse
2) "I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks." - Emo Philips
And the Paradoke Corner Winner in the “Sick” Category:
1.) “I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk.” – Stephen King
Next up in the Paradoke Corner:
The “Irreverent Top Ten” category has George Carlin’s name all over it. (Go!)
Or, check out Sandtrap, Jawja’s latest. (Go!)
This is a compilation of work from various sources. Paradoke Corner ranking by Phil Comer. Unless stated otherwise, photos and links are for information and not the property of the author.