PARADOKE CORNER - #10 “Doctor’s Orders” Paraprosdokian Top Ten

Paraprosdokian, two phrases, the second changing the meaning of the first, usually in a funny or humorous way. The Paradoke Corner top ten in the Doctor’s Orders category:

PEANUTS

10) I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.

9) "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate." - Henry J. Tillman

8) "She got her good looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon." - Groucho Marx

7) A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are on it.

6) "There’s a bunch of different crunches that affect the abs… my favorite is Nestle." - Shmuel Breban

5) I put my daughter to bed and tried to kiss her, and she said, ‘Not tonight, Daddy, I’ve got a terrible headache.’” - Rodney Dangerfield

4) “I want to live to be a hundred, because you rarely read any obituaries about people over a hundred years old.” - George Burns

3) “I have three children – one of each.” - Rodney Dangerfield.

2) “When I was your age, my parents used to rock me to sleep. The rocks were as big as your head.” - Mel Brooks

And the Paradoke Corner Winner in the “Doctor’s Orders” Category:

1) “Either this man is dead, or my watch has stopped.” - Groucho Marx

Next up in Paradoke Corner:

“The Incomparable Junior Samples,” late star of the Hee Haw TV show, gets his own Top Twenty!  (Go!)

Or, check out Sandtrap, Jawja’s latest.  (Go!)

This is a compilation of work from various sources. Paradoke Corner ranking by Phil Comer. Top photo by Phil Comer, bottom photo by Dan Skinner, model David Wilkinson. Unless stated otherwise, photos and links are for information and not the property of the author.