PARADOKE CORNER - #2 Ironic Paraprosdokian Top Ten

Paraprosdokian, two phrases, the second changing the meaning of the first, usually in a funny or humorous way. My ironic paradoke top ten:

10) Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

9) Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

8) I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

7) We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

6) "On the other hand, we have different fingers." -- Jack Handey, get it? “Hand”ey?

5) Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

4) "The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face." — Jack Handey

3) How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

2) The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

And the Paradoke Corner Winner in the “Ironic” Category:

1) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Next up in Paradoke Corner:

The “Too True Top Ten” category contains convoluted words to live by.  (Go!)

Or, check out Sandtrap, Jawja’s latest.  (Go!)

Compiled from various sources. Paradoke Corner rankings by Phil Comer. Photo by Bo Walker.