Paraprosdokian, two phrases, the second changing the meaning of the first, usually in a funny or humorous way. My ironic paradoke top ten:
10) Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
9) Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
8) I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
7) We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6) "On the other hand, we have different fingers." -- Jack Handey, get it? “Hand”ey?
5) Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4) "The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face." — Jack Handey
3) How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
2) The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
And the Paradoke Corner Winner in the “Ironic” Category:
1) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.